Manufacturing Time

As many of you have probably noticed, it's been a New York minute since I've posted. I could give a million reasons why- work, life, child, a bit of this, a smattering of that- but the honest answer is that I just haven't made time. It would be one thing if this only applied to the blog but, unfortunately, it applies to myself and my goals too.
All too often we fail to make time for ourselves. Many of you are probably ticking off the mental to-do list as you read but stop for a minute. It is so important to take care of our responsibilities. Family, work, whatever- it has to be done. But you need to add yourself to that list. If you aren't making time for you, then it is impossible to make time for everything else and, eventually, something's going to give. No one will be happy and nothing will be accomplished.
Take some time this week to "manufacture" time for yourself. Take a bath, drive around the block, put on earphones and read, close your office door for 5 minutes. Whatever you do, do it for yourself.
Love Always,
Reyna

Time for a reality check.

Ever find youself trying to figure out what's going on? I know I do. I'll feel like everything is on cruise control and then, BANG!, something stops my flow. It could be anything- a bad day, an unkind word, anything.

In these moments we have two choices- put up or shut up. We can buckle down and do what we need to to get back on track or we can do nothing and play "the victim" to whatever circumstance has derailed us.

So what to do? It's time for a reality check. We ARE (Even if it doesn't feel like it) in control of our circumstances. We may not like the choices available but we always have a choice. So put forth the effort to exercise said control and make it happen.

It is never enough to just shut-up, suck it up, or allow our circumstances to wash over us. We are all very powerful women- even if we try to refuse that we are. We are all remarkable in our own right- even if we feel as if we're boxing with giants. We are all fully capable of creating the reality we wish to have- even if others try to convince us otherwise.

It is our right, no-our responsibility- to step up and live our best life. We owe it to ourselves to do so.

Happy Hump Day!

Love Always,
Reyna

Time to have a heart to heart

I was lucky enough to spend today with my bestie. She know me better than I know myself and over several cups of diner coffee we just talked. She cradled my child as if she were her own and listened. I lazily stirred my coffee and listened. The give and take of a conversation with someone who is generally interested can make us take a good look at who we are and what we're about. In the moments where I listened, I heard myself speaking in her words. The fears, concerns, daily minutia that comprise our days flowed from her lips and resonated in my heart and mind. In the moments when I spoke I saw pure understanding as she listened.

How often do we allow ourselves those moments of blissful release? The opportunity to just talk with no fear, no worry, to a person who understands us better that we do ourselves. Probably not as often as we should. Instead we bottled it up, let it linger, and finally channel that frustration into unhealthy outlets, whatever form that may take.

So what should we do about that? If you find yourself alone, write it out. Reach out and find someone who you know could become that sounding board for you. Stretch yourself and leave your comfort zone. To trust another is to truly love yourself.

So this week I challenge you to have a conversation about everything and nothing, about highs and lows, about life and what we call life.

Trust me- it's the most refreshing thing you'll do.

Love Always,
Reyna

Who's on first?

We are all familiar with the Abbott and Costello comedy sketch. Here's a quick recap: a bunch of ball players have demonstrative adjectives as names leading to mass confusion. Hilarity ensues. End scene.

This got me to thinking- how many things in our lives cause confusion, doubt, and general unhappiness because we don't "name" it as precisely as we should?

Follow me on this one- it's 5 pm. Your day sucked and that box of cookies looks realy good so you eat it. Were you hungry? Probably not. But in this instance, what we should have named "frustration" we named "hunger" and dealt with the wrong emotion.

Here's another- You've just worked all day. You're tired, possibly cranky, and ready to relax when you get home. Once you arrive home, nothing's been done. Dishes are in the sink, dinner needs to be made, clutter is everywhere! You have to do it all so you do. Once done, you reward yourself with that triple chocolate chunk cookie figuring that you earned it. Were you hungry? Nope, but in this instance you've named "frustration" or "exhaustion" as "hunger" and dealt with the wrong emotion.

So what to do? The obvious answer is to think before we act. Make sure we're dealing with the actual emotion we're feeling in that time. But often that doesn't happen so we need to develop a stop-gap measure. For me, it's to write down what I'm going to eat before I eat. This means I have to find a pen, my journal or a piece of paper, a surface to lean on, etc. If I'm not really hungry, well by this point I don't feel like going through the hassle.

So my challenge to you this week is to check your emotions before you act. If you think you're angry, make sure you're really angry. If you think you're hungry, make sure you're really hungry.

There's no need to waste precious time on vague emotions. No need to wonder "Who's on First?"

Love always,
Reyna

When life gives you lemons

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where it seems as if everything that can go wrong does go wrong? Well, for your blogger here, this has been that week. According to the powers that be (aka doctors) I need to have my tonsils taken out. Obviously not my idea of a good time but there you go. When people hear this they usually say, "It'll be fine. You can eat as much ice cream as you want!" or "That sucks. At least you get to stay home for a while."

Well, this got me to thinking. WHY would I want to eat as much ice cream as I like? WHY would I want to just stay home? I like being active. I like eating healthy. Why should I blow both because my tonsils have an attitude problem? Why is it whenever things go badly for us we turn to food or inactivity?

So I'm reframing this "lemon" situation. As I wait to get this done, I will eat healthy, soft foods. I will continue to be active, even if it's just walking up and down the steps. I will make those choices that contribute to a healthier me because I deserve it. Don't we all?

So when life gives you lemons remember that lemons aren't that bad.

Love Always,
Reyna

This week's challenge- put yourself first

We are all so many things to so many people. I challenge you to put yourself first. Choose 1 thing you are going to do for yourself this week and make it happen!

The most important conversation you'll ever have.

Every day we talk. We talk to friends, family, coworkers, etc. But the most important conversation we have each day is the one we have with ourselves.

"I love this skirt on me."
"I can't believe I said that!"
"Why did I eat that?"
"I am so ugly."
"I deserve this ______________ (good or bad)."

Each thought we have colors how we perceive ourselves. Our self-perception, in turn, colors how others see and treat us. If we speak kindly to ourselves, then that positivity shines through and causes others to see how wonderful we are. If we speak meanly to ourselves, the opposite is true.

People will see and treat you the way you allow them to. This starts with how we see and treat ourselves. Are we going to have bad days? Yup- all part of the human condition. But we need to remember that first and foremost we ARE human- full of flaws and greatness.

There is a great quote: "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent." Focus on those parts that are excellent and the parts that aren't perfect will seem minor in comparison.

So, when you are talking to yourself today remember that this is the most important conversation you'll have. Make it count.

Love you!
Reyna